because she has too many photos in my first roll of film

My sister and I are three years apart. When I asked my mom how I reacted upon having another human being in the household, she said at first I was apathetic about the whole thing. Later on, I developed feelings of jealousy. I mean, I've been the only child for three years then suddenly, this other person comes along and gets my mom's attention. Except that she's not just 'some other person,' she's my sister. 

I don't know why I'm writing about this but since I've already started this, might as well...

Pre-school years: 

She fell off her crib because of me. 

I would go with her to her classes otherwise she wouldn't attend them. 

I pushed her one time because she 'stole' (according to my 5 year old self) my ball and her nose collided with the sharp edge of our side table. 

Elementary years:

She got bullied a lot. 

She proudly said to our parents that I used to defend her. I wish I could've agreed that I did that for her sake and not for my the 'good person' reputation I was maintaining. 

We argued a lot about out computer schedules (because we had one computer then).

I cried and complained once because she was getting all the attention although I was getting all the good grades.

Present: 

I borrowed a bobby pin from her once and she accidentally gave me the one with the sharp edge. She took it back and gave me a new one. I definitely would have given her the sharp edged one. 

Okay, I get it. I've been such an inconsiderate sister, or person in general. 

I don't remember saying 'I love you' to her in so long. 

I genuinely love my sister, it's just SO difficult to express it. It's not even about getting my parents' attention (that is so 10 years ago). I just hate appearing excessively sentimental and sweet.